End of a life chapter

I decided I didn't want to move back into my apartment, so when the tenant was moving this weekend - I called my agent; it will be listed as of next Thursday. 

There were a few factors that made me decide to suck it up and sell it.  But before I get that far, maybe you need to know why I bought it in the first place.

When SI and my relationship ended, I moved in with my parents. I knew it was temporary, I was either going to live alone...or move back in with him.  But one day I got a package of junk mail sent to me with the mistresses name on a label in the corner. I called an agent that day.  In a week I looked at a few places, walked into this apartment and liked it, although it was smaller than I wanted.  Maybe it was a little impulsive, especially for a big purchase. But I knew I needed to do it for me, to prove I could be independent and because I needed time alone to cry and be miserable.

When I decided to rent it a year and a half ago, it was a hard decision because I loved having a place that was mine, but I knew this was temporary. I wanted something a little bigger so I can bring a child into the picture. And I wanted to pay off my credit card debt.

I listed it with an agent and rented it, to a man who became ManFriend.  I knew from the moment I saw him something was going to happen...and I fought it a little in the beginning because it would make things confusing.  And it did. At first I felt like a prostitute because I would go over and then he'd give me rent money. 

Now that ManFriend moved two towns over from where I lived in NJ, I remembered why I didn't want to live here...and because I spent 18 months dating a man here...and it is too many memories that I don't want. 
As I am taking a break from cleaning the apartment, I am realizing that this chapter of my life is over. And while I might had shed a few tears, I am happy about it. I hope that means better things are yet to come. Although I am very worried about being financially secure enough to live comfortably and adopt a child...when I can barely afford rent/mortgage.