Unfortunately I remembered this morning why this man-friend continues to disappoint me. He isn't too aggressive like Bank Boy, which is nice, but I like a man who walks the talk and persues me. He says a lot of shit about how beautiful I am, things he wants to do to/with me, suggests a higher frequency, but then he doesn't do most of it and I am left disappointed. Not once from our sleep overs did we have sex in the morning...and that is a problem for me. I have mentioned morning sex and he always claims he is up for it, but he is all weird in the morning like he woke up and there is a stranger in the bed that he needs to rush out. It makes no sense. For instance last night I told him that we better get it on in the morning and he adamantly agreed...isn't that why people go away together and stay the night? But even sleeping sans clothes and rubbing his belly when he wakes up, he gets up and starts getting ready. After his shower, I walk over to him naked and kiss him, and he looks at me like I have 10 eyes and practically pushes me away. Is this normal male behavior? Did SI give me all these wrong ideas and expectations? We had 40 minutes to check out of the hotel, plenty of time for a little action and if not surely when we got back 'home'? But nope. Not even close. Maybe he realized he didn't want this type of arrangement anymore.
Even though I barely feel any kind of emotional connection there is something about him that intrigues me. And I do get annoyed when he disappoints me. Maybe I do like him a little, but I am just so not ready to actually admit that...since that would mean he'd be the first person I'd like since SI? But no, I don't think I do...if I did wouldn't I get butterflies and be excited to hang out? I know he isn't husband material and I don't feel any of that.
This can't go on much longer because I am way too horny and I want someone who spends way more time with me. His words are pointless because in reality he can't met my most basic needs. But is it worth it to end this arrangementnow? Or should I just suck it up and deal with it until I meet someone better? What if I don't?
If its not right, then its not right. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.
ReplyDeleteSometimes chemistry seems like it should be there, and it just isn't. I've had those before and its frustrating trying to figure out why it SHOULD be working and it just isn't. Frustrating for sure.
My man and I have the most mind blowing action, especially so in the morning. No guy with equipment that is in perfect working order would pass up that kind of opportunity. Maybe you need to accept that he's not a sex lover - some people (like you and I) are and others not.
ReplyDeleteCut your losses now, don't hang around for the next best thing. Staying with him might kill your mojo.
When I met up finally with my ex after a period apart, we had such explosive sex(we were in a long distance relationship)
ReplyDeleteYet in the morning, when I wanted sex, he didn't seem interested in it. IT left me confused and me feeling undesirable and unloved. We normally have two days together before i would be gone again so I couldnt understand why he didn't want to be all over me during this short window of time.
So after two and a half years of this and tons of tears and disappointment, I learnt that he was really not into me as much as I was him.
But he wasn't forward enough to tell it to me. Finally I had enough and it took me every ounce of disclipline to walk away. It still hurts.