I had really hoped to post on Monday something relationship/breakup/single to keep with my trend, but honestly, that is not where my head is these days. I kept logging in and trying to start a post and get nowhere.
This has been a really tough week for me. As far back as high school I have been a headache sufferer; I even got caught with Advil in school and had to speak to the nurse regarding this since they are the only ones to administer medication. The headaches continued but got a lot worse when SI and I were together. Maybe it was the mental stress he put me through that my body knew about but that my mind/heart did not get realize...add to that the living environment (trees/flowers/grass) that I may have been allergic to. Actually at one point I was tested for allergies and some might have been from cut grass or a tree, but I wasn't petting dogs/cats/horses all day to really be affected by my allergies (oh wait, SI's mistress had a cat - maybe all those headaches were from the cat hair concealed on his clothes). I didn't know any better, this was my life. I lived on Advil, Tylenol and eventually Excedrin (I recommend this one most). At times I was taking 3-5 pills at a time to dull the pain. The headaches would last days to weeks at a time. The migraines resulted in me laying in a dark room trying to sleep it off. Once the breakup happened, I practically had a constant headache...probably from all the crying. I'd suffer through work and go home and be ordered to lay down before dinner. In the last few years, I cut back taking any OTC medicine for headaches, even went to one neurologist (but I didn't like him and I didn't go back), and started to keep a headache journal. Cutting out the medicine was the smartest thing I did, I swear that the headaches, once I got back on a regular cycle, disappeared. My body was no longer reliant on the medicine and therefore the headaches went away. I'd still get an occasional headache and suffer through it as well as the occasional migraine that I would wait as long as possible before I took something. Unfortunately, the migraines seem to be getting worse over the last few years while the regular headaches were becoming less frequent.
These past 8 days, I have had 2 headaches that lasted for about 30 hours each, and another small one today. Every time I get a headache this bad or for an extended period of time, I wonder, how did I put up with that for so long? It is not something you should live with on a regular basis. Not only is my head aching but I also feel nauseous or have a lack of appetite. I haven't been back to a neurologist because the headaches have gotten so much better and when you go there...more than likely after waiting 6-8 weeks for an appointment you wouldn't have any symptoms that day anyway.
So, let's add to the headaches my poor sleeping which causes my mood to drastically become impatient with people, the people that I have to talk to everyday at work, my coworkers, and the 'new' work I have to do which in my mind is absolutely insane for someone who can think & is somewhat smart has to do (I asked if we can hire a homeless person! They want money) and what do we get? Denise is going to have a nervous breakdown!
I am ok with this though. I know what is happening. I see myself starting to crack and go crazy. But a temporary stay that my insurance pays for at a mental hospital due to stress is better than being committed for mass murder - right? I wonder how to go about this.
Do any of my readers want a job? See, there is such thing as a recruiter and they work for companies trying to fill a position. I want someone to work for ME and find me a job by souring the Internet, paper, referrals, social media sites and arrange for interviews. I am not kidding...email me if you want a part time or full time temporary job - the catch...I need to get out of here sooner rather than later & you'd probably get paid after the job was offered. We'll work something out.
Let's see, I also have 'friend' things going on. Yes that is right, plural. I have another post to share within the next 3 weeks, but I am not ready for that one yet.
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