One of the hardest things is to adjust to a life on your own after a breakup. While in a relationship we get caught up, take for granted and it is just part of the norm to have that person around; even if you can no longer stand them.
One of the hardest things for me was sleeping alone; not having that person to sleep next to (even if the snoring drove you crazy). After a year and a half of sleeping on an air mattress & really old bumpy bed, I finally decided one way to help me adjust to sleeping alone was to purchase a bed...a nice BIG bed. I mean, what do I need a king size mattress for? But why not? It if is something that will help - it is a great investment since we spend so much time sleeping.
The second hardest thing was that I felt like I was alone. No one understood what I was going through and how I felt. Everyone around me was in 'happy' relationships and no one close to me was divorced or and a big breakup. I couldn't relate to anyone and no one knew how to relate to me. I was isolated. I really appreciated people reaching out to me and getting me out of the house - even if it seemed like I was miserable since I didn't know how to be anymore. So thank you to all those people that dragged me out and kept persisting. My advice to those in similar situations is to get out of the house...keep your mind busy. You don't need to smile, laugh,have fun or enjoy yourself...but just changing your surroundings helps; maybe not at first but keep at it.
The third hardest thing was attending events by yourself. Right after my breakup my at the time best friend asked me to go to a bridal event, and I declined. Our relationship suffered because she couldn't understand why I couldn't go look at wedding dresses, DJs, bands, photographers, etc. She was only with her boyfriend for 2 years and was getting married, and I was getting out of a 4+ year relationship...hmmm...not rocket science. By the time her wedding rolled around I was still single and it was the hardest thing to be there without a date, watching the ceremony and crying upset that these two people were marrying and I wasn't, no one to dance with at the reception, etc. That was the last time I saw or spoke to my friend, and it was for like 1 minute - at that point our lives were too different and we couldn't relate to one another. Over the years I still dread weddings, baby showers or other events for couples. Finding someone to go with you to concerts/plays/etc is hard - even if you are newly dating someone you can't ask them to attend something with you in 6+ months...that could be scary since it is thinking into the future. This will get easier over time - believe me...but you have to keep at it. Suck it up and keep telling people yes you'll attend, go and have a miserable time, eventually you will get better at the small talk, you will start smiling, and you will start hoping for the best for your friends/family.
Some people love being alone - I am not worried about them. But if you are anything like me who craves to be part of a couple being alone is a huge adjustment. Essentially I am just passing the time doing boring things until my fh gets here, learning some tips along the way. Listen to the feed back your good friends and family are telling you - and find a way to overcome some of those fears that are holding you back.
Remember you are not alone. It seems that way and it seems like everyone can look at you and know how sad you are. Talk to other people or start a blog and get your feelings out - and that will help you on your way to your recovery. In the mean time, make the most out of your alone time. I am not promoting going crazy and doing a 180 on your personality - but in your alone time you can watch a movie that you've always wanted to but your significant other never wanted to. Order some food that you always compromised on. Decorate your surroundings the way you like or buy something that was previously frowned down upon.
Eventually you won't be so lonely.
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