Kayaking the La Jolla Sea Caves

When my co-worker & I were looking for things to do in La Jolla for our business meeting earlier this month, we came across kayaking the sea caves.  A simple look at each other & we need this made it to the top of our list.

But, not everything goes as planed...two days before our tour, La Jolla had some rainstorm / downpour.  The day of our appointment, it was cold and rainy.  The gave us all full wetsuits to wear (and thank goodness for that) and off we went.  The rain was light but steady and the water was fairly calm in the middle but rougher by the walls. 

We get out there after paddling and were so excited, to only find out that we were not going to go through the caves because hf the choppiness near them.  Let me tell you, I was willing to risk it!  I was a bit disappointed, I wished our tour company told us we wouldn't go in and give us the option to reschedule (not that we had a lot of free time). 

It was fun anyway.

I am thankful for...

I have wanted a child for a while, but I am thankful that I do not have a child with a man that I am no longer involved with.  Seems like something obvious, but the truth is with divorce rates so high, there are a lot of people that have to raise children with people they no longer like.  Sure, you have a few cases where everyone is happy - but a majority of the homes struggle with the balance, the consideration, honesty, fighting, etc. 

Sometimes I think back to what my life would have been like if things didn't happen the way they did.  What if I had a child with someone that I didn't end up with for more than 20 years?  I am 98% certain that I would be bitter and have more hatred for that person based on their actions, their constant nagging and pissing me off intentionally that I probably wouldn't be happy; especially if they left me for someone else and still wanted to emotionally abuse me.  To know that I would have to remain in contact with them and see them in order to raise our child 'together'. 

So, SI, thank you.  Thank you for not knocking me up and not having a child with me.  Although the kid might have been cute - I know I couldn't handle having to see you move on with your life and rub it in my face constantly; It was hard enough as it is.

Not only are there divorces or separations, but what about all those other people that just get pregnant when they are dating or not even dating someone?  To those few guy - thank you for mostly wearing a condom or pulling out or having sperm that my uterus & egg rejected.  The last thing I'd want to do is get knocked up with someone I don't even like enough to date.

And thank you to my body - for so many years of not having a regular period which made it difficult to even think about getting pregnant.  You probably saved me from a few pregnancies knowing it wouldn't have worked out in the end.

And last but not least, I am thankful for my fh who will father my two children.

Quirky

While at an work related exhibit where I interact with potential clients and other exhibitors - I have realized once again that I have trouble initiating useless conversation.  In the past, when I attended the shows alone, I rarely met/talked to anyone, except my first time when I met a doctor and we spent the next 3 days hanging out. But the other times were boring. 

The past year I had my coworker come with me, and perhaps it is because she is short & pretty & nice but now our booth is constantly filled with other vendors trying to win their time talking to her/us.  In June we met an exhibitor; we hung out with them and then they came to NYC for something and one night we went out and now most recently for the third time last week in Arizona.  It has truly made the events a lot more fun when you know people...and usually the same people go to most of the shows -so it is something to look forward to. 

This past week our vendor neighbors were nice and chatty...but right away they pinned me as the bossy "HR" type person.  Why didn't I smile? Why do I look serious?  etc.  Do I really need to explain to people that when they smile all the time it is fake?  Can people really walk around with a smile all the time?  And why assume because I don't have a smile at one particular moment...that I am not happy.  I am very content.  And I DO smile...when I am speaking with people, I even laugh.  But because I don't have that fakeness...when I do it, it is genuine.  Boys must learn this at some point.

So these guys think they figured me all out; in the few hours we were there.  But the one guy- that we've known since June...at dinner one night he said that Quirky was the perfect adjective to describe me.  I am fun& nice & laid back, but yet I am serious & bossy & unusual.

I liked that after I thought about it.  I have been told many times that I really am unique...(I know everyone is..but apparently I am more so).  Saying I am quirky is way better than saying I have issues/am strange/or other things that people think at first, but are surprised when they actually TALK to me they find out I am not necessarily what they thought I was. 

Can't judge this book by my cover.

Work travels

One of the good things about my job, which I have been at 5 1/2 years, is that I have been able to travel (of course we've had meetings in NYC too).  Some of the places are duplicates due to conferences - but for each trip I made sure to go out and see the surrounding area.  I am also allowed to bring guests, and I did on rare occassion, which made some of the trips even more enjoyable.
November 2011 - Phoenix, Arizona

November 2011 - La Jolla, California

June 2011 - Las Vegas, Nevada

June 2011 - Anaheim, California

May 2011 - New Olreans, Louisianna

March 2011 - Chicago, Illinois

November 2010 - Savannah, Georgia

October 2010 - Chicago, Illinois

June 2010 - Chicago, Illinois

March 2010 - Chicago, Illinois

November 2009 - Puerto Rico

June 2009 - Anaheim, California

April 2009 - Chicago, Illinois

March 2009 - Washington, DC

January 2009 - Orlando, Florida

October 2008 - San Diego, California to Cabo, Mexico (cruise)

October 2008 - Toronto, Canada

June 2008 - Pointe Vendra Beach, Florida

March 2008 - Chicago, Illinois

October 2007 - Albuquerque, New Mexico

There's no place like home

I can't even tell you how happy I am to finally being back home.  Now that I have returned, I can tell you how crazy November turned into. 

First, I had a business meeting planned for November 3-6 in San Diego...but I rarely go to new parts of the country without taking an extra day or two.  So the 6-8 were 'play' days.  From previous posts (or posts of just pictures) you can see how nice our hotel was.  The weather wasn't ideal but it was nice to not be in NY.  The meeting was OK, but come Sunday we went kayaking to the La Jolla sea caves; unfortunately for us we were on the tail end of a huge rain storm, and it was raining that day so we were not able to go into the caves, which was disappointing.  Even though it was raining and cold - we made the best of it I even wore my first full wetsuit (kayaking post to come later this week).  From there we drove up to Santa Barbara and on that Monday we went wine tasting.  The day we left, we took out the bike hotels and went for a nice ride to Monticeto to Butterfly Beach. 

In the mean time, right before I left for California, I found a tenant for my apartment, who wanted to move in on the 15th, so I started packing a little before that California trip - but at the meeting, I found out I was to go to Arizona the following weekend...not much time to catch up on work AND move AND pack AND go on a blind date.  Thank goodness for my super supportive family! 

Arizona was fun too.  The weather was pleasant during the day and a bit chilly at night.  I went to Saguaro National Park, hiked part of the Picacho Mountain, went to the Biosphere and drove by Talisean West (posts of these to come).  Then for the work meeting, it wasn't bad at all.  We'd met some vendors at other meetings so our nights were never dull.  Drinking, hot tub, watching the meteor shower, etc. 

I am just starting to unpack and get set in my new routines.  The next year is going to be a little challenging...but hopefully well worth it in the end.

Gas Lamp Quarter - San Diego California

On the way back to the airport we stopped at the Gas Lamp Quarter in San Diego.  We were not sure what to expect but were shocked with the two streets that were about 5 blocks long of restaurants. Lots & lots of restaurants.  How to decide where to eat?

Wine Tasting in Los Olivos

I love wine and what better activity to do in California? OK, so I wasn't in Napa Valley, but in Santa Barbara and we hired a company to come and pick us up at the hotel and drive us to some wineries in Los Olivos.

We started at Bridlewood

Next was Carhart (our favorite)

Then olive oil tasting, which was fantastic!

Then time to drink again!  Off to Lincort (my least favorite, I think I only liked one or two) where we had lunch and the tasting outside on their covered patio.

 

 And finally Koehler.

The tour company we used:

Oh, and what famous person lived here?  Michael Jackson's Neverland is right down this road a few miles

La Valencia in La Jolla

A work trip to La Jolla brought me to La Valencia Hotel. 

The staff was unbelievably helpful and friendly - I think we are all writing to the hotel with Thank You's for the staff.  The hotel layout was a bit confusing with the two wings, and the lobby was on the 6th or 7th floor (street level) because it is on a hill. 

I was shocked when the concierge brought me up to my suite:

living room

bedroom

half bath



master bath




 The Views/Pool:

view from my living room

pool

The town of La Jolla was right on the Pacific Ocean.  We were able to see seals and parts of the sea caves (see future post about this).  The town was a quaint with some great restaurants.

facebook fear

On Saturday, I logged into facebook for a few moments....and who is on my list of People I May Know? 
The one person that has given me nightmares for the last five years.  Yes, HER.  SI's mistress pops up.  I freak out, of course she has to catch me off guard yet again...but why? We do not have any friends in common.  Then I remember....she is an email contact.  Damn technology & connecting things without my approval. 

Hopefully I'll never see that again.  I might have to block her email address too - just to make sure.

The Blind Date

The Blind Date
After our hour conversation last week, I met my blind date.  It was OK, but I will tell you right now that there is only a 5% change that he is my future husband. 

When people set me up, I've learned to NOT ask questions...I don't want to know their opinion or what they think of the person, or why they think we'd made a great couple.  People really don't know each other as well as they think they do.  Characteristics that I like in a person...which is why I think you'd like them...are not the same characteristics that you might prefer.  That being said, the person that recommended my blind date has a very different taste in men than I do.  Sure, I am not going to lie - the guy seemed as nice as could be.  I couldn't find anything wrong with him upfront; aside from being so eager to spend more time with me. 

In the past, I would go meet the person, and I know.  Or I think I know what I want...and if the person doesn't meet that, why bother going out again? I don't want to waste his time or mine. I am not looking for a fling or something short lived; I want a husband.  I don't have that kind of time to waste dating someone for a few months or a year when it has no future potential. I don't want to end up marrying someone because they just happened to be the person I was dating at the time (I feel like a few of my friends fit in this category & why there are so many divorces). 

However, I need to get out more now that I am living with family and since I couldn't find anything wrong with him yet, we will be going out again. I have this groupon for mini golf, batting cages and driving range - so it will be a fun interactive date where he can laugh at my lack of athletic abilities.

So even though this guy is nice - I still found myself thinking he isn't as good looking as my tenant.  He is more my type and single and in my age range.  We are having dinner towards the end of the month - but I know it can't go anywhere since I will be collecting rent every month.

stay tuned

Hey readers...yes I am alive. I was away, but didn't plan enough posts to schedule; sometimes I have writer's block. I have a few things to share, but I am absolutely exhausted and I really don't want to look for my camera wire tonight or write a post...or even have a post with links..maybe tomorrow.

ps- I think it is funny that my scheduled posts all had to do with my mom's friend...but it turns out after having read them posted, that those are all different people.  Funny, I didn't realize when I wrote those a week or two ago they all kind of had a theme to them.

Renting Rant

So is it just me? But I thought that when I hired a real estate person to rent my apartment, that they did the background/financial/employment background.  But they don't.  They took the information down and then when I asked, they gave me the information.  The last thing I wanted to do is verify this information. 

What did I pay for? Just them to show the place and set up the lease? 

But I met with the future tenant and he seems great, so I am very optimistic that this thing will work out.

TV cutback

I know I am healing because I am not as interested in TV anymore.  When I moved back to NY 5 years ago, I started to watch a lot of TV. It became my thing to do to help me escape my sad reality.  I was watching shows that were decent, but that I didn't love.

This past week, I am flipping through my DVR and I watched everything I wanted to.  All the rest were...eh...I hit play, but then after 15 minutes just deleted the show. I am just not into it anymore. 

TV is becoming less interesting...and I have to wonder if it is because I like drama, action & comedy. However, the action shows are way to unrealistic. I live in the NY Metro area; I am in NYC 5 days a week. I have NEVER seen a shoot-out , a high speed chase, or any of the crazy things that occur on a regular basis on TV that you would think is normal.

That makes me feel great. I feel like things are starting to actually come together, just like I don't need my apartment, I don't need those shows anymore. Of course I'll stick with my favorites (the Middle, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Castle, NCIS, and I am still not 100% sure of Two & a Half Men).

Emotionally Paralysed

My Mom was telling me that she knows someone whose son just started dating this woman who was with her ex-man for about 5 years to find out that he had a double life; apparently she had no clue.  She sort of tried dating a little bit for a few years, but was too scared to become involved with anyone.  But my Mom's friend & the lady's mother set the two up...to meet as friends if anything, and now a few months later have begun dating.

I was glad my mother told me this, because I have felt like people were shocked when they heard what happened to me and I had no clue, not for a long time.  Sure, I became suspicious, but I was in denial that the man I loved & saw myself growing old with could cheat on me...let alone what he actually did - which was even crazier than anything I could have imagined. 

Of course I asked my Mom if she knew the woman's name...imagine if it was HER?  SI's other?  But she didn't know - but I doubt it was her.

I don't think SI realized that what he did was not only devastating, but paralysing to me.  4 1/2 years I was paralyzed by the shock of what happened, the waiting for him for so long because he asked me to, starting to date again when I wasn't ready, trusting anyone...all of it.  While I've been paralyzed by his actions, I know that he was doing fine for a while, continuing dating his mistress, going on vacations with people, concerts, etc.  And me...well, you know I was severely depressed and didn't really know what happened with my relationship. I shut people out.  My personality changed & I became more serious. It was torture.  What he did to me was unthinkable...yet he had no problems with it - because he benefited from others misfortunes. I wish that people understood how their actions affect other people, but unfortunately humans are selfish and don't generally think about others.  It is sad.   

But the joke will be on SI in 2012.  I will be happy and I will finally find love (this has ZERO do to with the post from yesterday...I actually wrote this BEFORE I even became aware of that).  I am convinced of this.  I am so scared, I won't lie.  I hope my insecurity is fading, but I don't know how to date.  I remember how to be in a serious relationship but the whole dating is going to be really hard to adjust to.  I don't want to seem overeager or over interested, but I think I'll just be so happy to find someone I like, I won't know how to stop myself.   And the regular sex I hope to have once I overcome my fear of doing it the first 3 times.  Scary stuff, isn't it horrible how ONE person can make you feel like this in your own future?  Well, you'll just have to keep reading to see how I handle it.  And of course wish me luck because I deserve it.

Phone Date

Recently my Mom's friend decided to set me up.  I told her I'd be willing to met this guy  - but I didn't want her to tell me anything about him.  Why not?  Well, everyone has different tastes or perceptions of people and I don't want to go in biased nor do I want to go in thinking someone is 'just my type or perfect for me' when they aren't - and how would the fixer-upper know what is perfect for me anyway?

So I get a call from this guy and it wasn't too awkward.  As bad as I think I am with meeting new people and being shy with new people, for whatever reason, I've been really good about talking to strangers on the phone.  Maybe it has something to do with me not staring at their face distracting me.  So we talk for about an hour (which is amazing for me because I am not really a phone person) about small things.  Activities we like, trips, a little about our jobs, town we live in, very basic family stuff.  I still have no idea how old he is or what he looks like, which is just fine with me for now.

The one thing that I wasn't sure was a turn-off or something to be worried about, was his eagerness to help me/do things for me.   Twice I was like, ' that is nice of you, but we haven't met yet' or 'thanks, but I am not sure if it is appropriate for you to move me and break your back as our first date'.  I can see both sides, but should I be a little leery of his willingness to do all that for someone he doesn't know?

I mean sure, I came 'highly recommended' to him.  Maybe there is a shortage of nice girls out there too.  And I mean, I am not conceited, but I am really nice & sweet & thoughtful & could be fun & lovable...and I want to share that with someone...but because of my past, I am not ready to dive into anything too quickly.  I just don't want the guy to be dreaming of me already when there is so much more to understand about each other.  Or even see each other...looks do matter a little bit.

I have an insane first part of November, but I will keep you updated once when we go out for Hibachi.

Knitting Therapy

After the breakup with SI, I was a zombie. One of my mom's friends thought it would be helpful if I learned how to knit.  I didn't buy it, but I figured I had all this new time on my hands.

I met with her a few times.  I learned how to hold knitting needles and move my hands. I picked a yarn.  It was insanely frustrating that I didn't get it for a long time.  I give the lady so much credit for having so much patience with me.  I'd try to knit on my own with out her reminding me what to do - and I'd loose or add stitches and my simple scarf would be insanely crooked.  For a while she'd take the lines out so I can redo them, but the same thing kept happening.  I decide to keep going, so then when I was on my next one, I could compare and see my progress.

Knitting was an amazing kind of therapy, especially when it is new to you.  It really keeps your mind from wondering on what happened to you - and keeps you so focused on getting the stitches right.  I was shocked with how well it distracted me.  I started to absorb knitting like water - I became addicted to it for a while just to keep my mind from thinking about SI and to stop me from the constant crying. 

It took a while before I became a bit decent at knitting - with a scarf that was straight.  At some point I learned how to purl (the opposite of a knit stitch).  And I had hopes of doing the S stitch - but at that time, my knitting slowed down so much, that by not doing it regularly I couldn't remember. I had also hoped to learn with circular needles to make a hat, but I didn't and my self-teaching was horrendous.  I don't have too much desire to knit sweaters or blankets or socks - seems like a big project, but a scarf I can handle.  I don't know how to read a pattern and I don't know how to guess how many stitches to cast on for a scarf of a certain yarn thickness nor do I know what needles to use with the yarn thickness - I just wing it, and everything has come out fine.  I am doing it for my own personal use, and  they are just scarves so it is really easy - so to me it doesn't matter if the needle size is slightly wrong.

I have made scarves for a few people I know for a holiday gift.  My grandmother loved the scarf so much that she enlisted me this year to knit for the needy.  I haven't picked up knitting needles in a year and last year I just made the one scarf...but I was happy to see that the basic knitting stitch came right back to me.  I am getting a really late start of knitting for her since I have been pre-occupied with moving, but since I am a bit faster now, I hope that each scarf will take about 3-4 hours and I can do that as I watch tv.

Anyway, my advice to you this week is that if you are depressed, try to knit.  They wouldn't be publishing all those fiction books based on knitting if knitting didn't really have a therapeutic side.  [I read the knitting circle and knitting under the influence - but there are plenty more].  Give it a try, see how it takes all of your focus away from your thoughts.

11111

My mind feels blank.  The only thing I can think of is that today is 11/1/11 or better yet 11/11/11 is quickly approching.  I mean, how often does that happen?  Never really if you take into consideration 0's.  So 11/11/11 is by far the more superior of the two and is even better than the repeating ones like 05/05/05 or 10/10/10 or 12/12/12 or sequences like 08/09/10 or 09/10/11 or 10/11/12...you get it.

I might be a slight nerd at heart.