optimism towards potential not being alone feelings

I went on a few dates over the last three months and that really helped me and distracted me from my thoughts of ManFriend.  While I think about him a lot, these 90 days were more optimistic towards potential not being alone feelings.  But, I was also trying too hard to feel things I wasn't feeling; that didn't feel right or natural.  I was never sure about the guys, and while I wasn't the one to initiate the end, I am glad they ended quickly - within 3 weeks.  I rushed into things, I wanted to feel wanted and needed. It really didn't matter by who.  But it turns out it did matter, which is why I wasn't feeling it. I am glad to have had this learning experience.  It came later in life for me than I think most people experience it, but nevertheless...I think I got it.