reread and edit

I was writing a work letter and after I was through, I reread it and edited it.  Then, I read it again and tweaked it a little more.  A lot of time and thought went into that document, and that routine happens over and over again which is why I am decent at what I do.

This blog started out as my diary. I was writing for me and I wrote what came to my head in that brief moment in time, usually when I was sad or was stressed.  I didn't reread anything I wrote, and I didn't elaborate what I wrote because in my head, I knew more than I was writing; I knew the history and I knew the connections I was making - without writing them out.

Fast forward four years and I actually have people reading, who would have thought?  But my writing didn't change, it was still small parts of thoughts in my head because I didn't need all the details, I already knew them.  However, this has proved a problem because now there are major holes in my story and now that people are reading, I am failing them because I am not writing more detailed posts.  I cannot assume readers not only remember everything I've said but also the things I haven't said. How preposterous.

After I realized that I spent so much time rereading and editing things for work but that I didn't do that when it came to my story, I knew I needed to make some changes.  So beginning now, I am going to reread what I write and pretend I know zero about the topic of the moment and I am going to edit so I can be sure that the readers have a fuller, more accurate story. Editing can take time, but I have to remember that I don't need to post on the day something happens.

My story over the last few years has been very slow moving.  I've bitched and complained and I have had periods of depression, but also during this time I've learned a lot about myself and in the last year I've been very content overall; there is a huge difference in the me now versus the me four years ago. But rarely do I write when things are going well because I am up and about and don't have a lot of free time.  And that isn't fair either because it is not an accurate representation of all of me just the bad parts.  But, a lot of work has gone on behind the scenes to achieve a place where I will be even happier, and over the next few months I will be ready to share.