some of my fears

A fear is an irrational thought. But yet we have so many of them.  The only time we can come to grips with our fears is when we re in the situation and we end up thinking....well, that wasn't so bad, well most of the time.

There are also the fears of the unknown.  These I have been thinking about a lot and I stress over them often enough.  I know that if these items happen, it won't be as bad as I think, but until then, they are always on my mind.

I am going to share with you some of my fears about my life and about me.

I fear I'll be single, forever
I fear that when I finally get married, I won't be happy
I fear that I won't be able to get pregnant if/when the time comes
I fear that I won't like my child
I fear that I as much as I want a child, I really don't
I fear that I won't be able to support not only myself but this child I end up raising
I fear that I won't be able to balance working full time and being a single parent (hopefully I won't be a single parent)
I fear that I'll end up living close to my family because they can help me raise said child, but it is an un-affordable area, so I'll be struggling financially
I fear that I won't save enough money - for me and for any child I may have
I fear that I won't save enough money to travel more
I fear I'll live in a place I don't like because I can't afford anything else
I fear I won't have enough time to really help the child (school work, activities, good manners)
I fear I'll have one of those children I sneer at
I fear I'll have to work until I die
I fear getting old and helpless
I fear being a burden to whoever has to help me in my old age
I fear that my future husband won't find me attractive years after our marriage
I fear being cheated on...again
I fear people see me as being too sweet and won't take me serious when I am upset
I fear I'll never have a small group of girlfriend
I fear I will never belong
I fear I will continue to be seen as the outsider
I fear I will continue to go out of my way helping people and will never get the help or support when I need it

The biggest themes are money and love.  So, while I am unnecessarily stressing about these things. I am confident that things happen for a reason...and no matter what happens in my life, I will embrace it and do as much as I can with it.