On my most recent blind date, the guy - only about 60 minutes in - tells me I seem like a girly girl. I laugh...at first a little uncomfortable, but then I remember, that I just realized this myself about a year ago.
I was talking to my ex-coworker last year and she tells me that I was high maintenance. I didn't agree with her...but after a few weeks I realized she might have been right. And with high maintenance comes being a girly girl. Something laughable. When did I become this person? Ask SI if he would have agreed that "Denise is a girly girl"/"Denise is high maintenance" and he would probably have laughed so hard at that statement and fell off his chair and said no way - that is why I cheated on her and made sure my mistress was.
And that above 90% possible statement makes me a little angry because when I think of that mistress - and all she represents...it irks me that I could fall to that level that is so below me. When I think of high maintenance girly girls...I think of fake, skirts/dresses, always in high heels, always looking the best, latest trends or lots of lace & ruffels, super small eater, snotty, bitchy, annoying, superficial, a lot of non-friends, manicures/pedicures, frequent spas & gyms, spend a lot of time on getting ready and someone I wouldn't want to be friends with.
I don't think I am THAT bad. OK, so I've bought some skirts and dresses in the last few years but they are all conservative, I owe a lot of shoes, but don't wear half of them, I don't own sweatpants and tee shirts, and I can be a little bitchy to people that offend me/I don't like...but surely I am not fake, superficial, a small eater, snotty (well, I am NY snotty for those outside this area...but WITHIN this area, I am not snotty...this is like the capital of snotty rich housewives), hang cheesey things off my rearview mirror, make high pitch shrills, or need constant attention.
So what is wrong with straightening my hair, wearing makeup to enhance my face, 70% of the time looking nice, only lasting a few hours in 2+ inch heels, not watching/playing sports and not killing bugs? Aren't those 'normal'?
I am starting to wonder if the issue isn't that I am girly girl...but that I am independent. There is a huge difference. And I have a hard time dumbing that down, I might seem a little 'cold' but I am not - independence is something a lot of women never experience and men don't understand independent women - so maybe I seem high maintenance but I don't think I am - I am down to Earth, normal, and take care of myself to a certain extent.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
The yoga challenge
One of my goals in the last two years has been to try new things and again, thanks to Groupon, I bought 10 classes of Yoga at a place very close to where I live. I am probably the last person to have never tried yoga especially since its huge increase in popularity in the last 8 years. The funny thing is, I always thought I'd like it since it seems 'easy'...it is just stretching right?
This morning was my first class. I wasn't even sure what to wear there. I ended up just wearing cotton pants, a sports bra (not that I thought I'd need it, but its lines matched up with the tank I was wearing) and flip flops with sneakers and socks in a bag. Turns out it is barefoot, so I didn't need the shoes/socks. They let me borrow a mat for my first time and then I waited for class to begin.
While we were waiting for people to get there, many people were stretching. I didn't - I figured that is what the class was for. And I really don't know too many stretches, I am not one of those athletic types. The teacher told me that while this was a level one class, that her classes are generally harder than other level ones. Yikes. Maybe I should have stretched.
We start out breathing and this was awkward for me. The insanely deep breaths, I could barely keep myself from laughing. Then we did this thing with breathing in/out of our nose and the nose in the room was so animal like. All I could think of is snot getting everywhere...I guess that is why there were tissue boxes lined up against the wall.
So we begin stretching, and then get into some of the yoga positions. As a newbie, I had to keep looking around because I don't know what baby, downward facing dog, plank, and any of the other positions are called.
For the most part, I felt like I was able to blend into the class. Sure, I might have had a few seconds delay until I realized what I was supposed to do - but once I got there, I did well. There were a few things that gave me some trouble - first in one position, my hands kept sliding on the mat and I had to keep readjusting. Second, plank/half plank...I have zero upper body strength, I was shaking almost the whole way through, but I lasted. Third, I have this hip issue where my hip gets stuck in a position, and I have to gently readjust it - so that factored into one of the positions we did - while I was able to do the position well - getting into/out of it was a little less smooth than everyone else.
I was feeling comfortable with almost everything - and did 98% of the 'optional' slightly more challenging position additions. But it worried me a little that some of the people were making these small breathing noises or noises of discomfort or relief - and I wasn't...why were they feeling it more than me? I didn't think it was too hard, and many times in the positions, didn't think I was stretching enough but couldn't really figure out how to do more without having someone pushing on me. I guess I am pretty flexible.
At one point the instructor came over just to slightly realign my elbow and told me I was doing awesome and she couldnt' believe this was my first time ever.
While standing, from flag pole to whatever it is called when you stretch out your leg behind you and reach towards the front, I did encounter some balance issues on my right leg.
At the end I thought we were going to 'cool down' by some more easy stretching, but she did some sort of meditation - which I found way too long. Sure it felt nice to lay there listening to music, but I don't really know how to relax like that and think of nothing. I started to think about what order to run my errands in, or possible dates I have lined up for the next few weeks, and most importantly, what I wanted to eat when I got home.
Overall, I left there feeling happy I did this before 9am on a Saturday, that I still have the whole day ahead of me. I feel a little 'looser' and am considering taking the morning class tomorrow as well -but worry that I overstretched and haven't felt it yet. I guess I'll find out in a few hours/day.
I am happy I finally got around to trying it. I did in fact enjoy it...and worry that I'd like it enough that after my 10 classes - I'd want to continue but not be able to afford it.
This morning was my first class. I wasn't even sure what to wear there. I ended up just wearing cotton pants, a sports bra (not that I thought I'd need it, but its lines matched up with the tank I was wearing) and flip flops with sneakers and socks in a bag. Turns out it is barefoot, so I didn't need the shoes/socks. They let me borrow a mat for my first time and then I waited for class to begin.
While we were waiting for people to get there, many people were stretching. I didn't - I figured that is what the class was for. And I really don't know too many stretches, I am not one of those athletic types. The teacher told me that while this was a level one class, that her classes are generally harder than other level ones. Yikes. Maybe I should have stretched.
We start out breathing and this was awkward for me. The insanely deep breaths, I could barely keep myself from laughing. Then we did this thing with breathing in/out of our nose and the nose in the room was so animal like. All I could think of is snot getting everywhere...I guess that is why there were tissue boxes lined up against the wall.
So we begin stretching, and then get into some of the yoga positions. As a newbie, I had to keep looking around because I don't know what baby, downward facing dog, plank, and any of the other positions are called.
For the most part, I felt like I was able to blend into the class. Sure, I might have had a few seconds delay until I realized what I was supposed to do - but once I got there, I did well. There were a few things that gave me some trouble - first in one position, my hands kept sliding on the mat and I had to keep readjusting. Second, plank/half plank...I have zero upper body strength, I was shaking almost the whole way through, but I lasted. Third, I have this hip issue where my hip gets stuck in a position, and I have to gently readjust it - so that factored into one of the positions we did - while I was able to do the position well - getting into/out of it was a little less smooth than everyone else.
I was feeling comfortable with almost everything - and did 98% of the 'optional' slightly more challenging position additions. But it worried me a little that some of the people were making these small breathing noises or noises of discomfort or relief - and I wasn't...why were they feeling it more than me? I didn't think it was too hard, and many times in the positions, didn't think I was stretching enough but couldn't really figure out how to do more without having someone pushing on me. I guess I am pretty flexible.
At one point the instructor came over just to slightly realign my elbow and told me I was doing awesome and she couldnt' believe this was my first time ever.
While standing, from flag pole to whatever it is called when you stretch out your leg behind you and reach towards the front, I did encounter some balance issues on my right leg.
At the end I thought we were going to 'cool down' by some more easy stretching, but she did some sort of meditation - which I found way too long. Sure it felt nice to lay there listening to music, but I don't really know how to relax like that and think of nothing. I started to think about what order to run my errands in, or possible dates I have lined up for the next few weeks, and most importantly, what I wanted to eat when I got home.
Overall, I left there feeling happy I did this before 9am on a Saturday, that I still have the whole day ahead of me. I feel a little 'looser' and am considering taking the morning class tomorrow as well -but worry that I overstretched and haven't felt it yet. I guess I'll find out in a few hours/day.
I am happy I finally got around to trying it. I did in fact enjoy it...and worry that I'd like it enough that after my 10 classes - I'd want to continue but not be able to afford it.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
ISTJ
I took the Myers-Briggs test. I think I know myself well enough where I didn't actually have to take the test...but I thought it would be fun, so I took it anyway.
The test lasted about 20 minutes and my results were ISTJ.
The test lasted about 20 minutes and my results were ISTJ.
- ISTJs are quiet and reserved individuals who are interested in security and peaceful living. They have a strongly-felt internal sense of duty, which lends them a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks. Organized and methodical in their approach, they can generally succeed at any task which they undertake.
- ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are "good citizens" who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun - especially at family or work-related gatherings.
- ISTJs tend to believe in laws and traditions, and expect the same from others. They're not comfortable with breaking laws or going against the rules. If they are able to see a good reason for stepping outside of the established mode of doing things, the ISTJ will support that effort.
- The ISTJ is extremely dependable on following through with things which he or she has promised. For this reason, they sometimes get more and more work piled on them. Because the ISTJ has such a strong sense of duty, they may have a difficult time saying "no" when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. For this reason, the ISTJ often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.
- The ISTJ will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things which don't make sense to them, or for which they can't see a practical application. They prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when the situation demands it. They like to be accountable for their actions, and enjoy being in positions of authority. The ISTJ has little use for theory or abstract thinking, unless the practical application is clear.
- ISTJs have tremendous respect for facts. They hold a tremendous store of facts within themselves, which they have gathered through their Sensing preference. They may have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective. However, if they are shown the importance or relevance of the idea to someone who they respect or care about, the idea becomes a fact, which the ISTJ will internalize and support. Once the ISTJ supports a cause or idea, he or she will stop at no lengths to ensure that they are doing their duty of giving support where support is needed.
- The ISTJ is not naturally in tune with their own feelings and the feelings of others. They may have difficulty picking up on emotional needs immediately, as they are presented. Being perfectionists themselves, they have a tendency to take other people's efforts for granted, like they take their own efforts for granted.
- ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. However, their strong sense of duty and the ability to see what needs to be done in any situation usually allows them to overcome their natural reservations, and they are usually quite supporting and caring individuals with the people that they love. Once the ISTJ realizes the emotional needs of those who are close to them, they put forth effort to meet those needs.
- The ISTJ is extremely faithful and loyal. Traditional and family-minded, they will put forth great amounts of effort at making their homes and families running smoothly. They are responsible parents, taking their parenting roles seriously. They are usually good and generous providers to their families. They care deeply about those close to them, although they usually are not comfortable with expressing their love. The ISTJ is likely to express their affection through actions, rather than through words.
- ISTJs have an excellent ability to take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion. They are very hard workers, who do not allow obstacles to get in the way of performing their duties. They do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations.
- ISTJs usually have a great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation. Their homes are likely to be tastefully furnished and immaculately maintained. They are acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty.
- Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.
- In general, the ISTJ has a tremendous amount of potential. Capable, logical, reasonable, and effective individuals with a deeply driven desire to promote security and peaceful living, the ISTJ has what it takes to be highly effective at achieving their chosen goals - whatever they may be.
- Family is of the utmost importance to the ISTJ. The order and schedule of a home life is very important. Any family member who rebels against order is likely to anger the ISTJ who revolves their life around a sense of conformity. The ISTJ is likely to want breakfast at 8, lunch at 12 and dinner at 6 no matter what, holidays with the family are of paramount importance and no sacrifice is too great to keep the unit intact.
- The ISTJ likes to also have order in their friends and in their appearance. Hanging out with the wild and crazy isn't likely to happen. ISTJ's tend to develop strong, loyal, consistent friendships that stand the test of time. ISTJ’s may have trouble showing emotion but within the strength of a time-tested friendship they often find comfort.
- In love relationships the ISTJ is a strong believer in taking responsibility. They also say the things they mean. Often they are accused of being uncaring but they view the benchmark of commitment by actions and not words. The ISTJ is more interested in being the Rock of Gibralter and day to day success than words that are not backed up with actions.
- ISTJ’s wants for schedules and results oriented satisfaction are general surgery, law and accounting. The ISTJ can be a success at any career but tend to shy away from careers that require abstract thinking and interpersonal spontaneity. Other popular ISTJ career directions include: Management, Accounting, Auditing, Engineer, Dentists, Stock Brokers and Law.
- The ISTJ is often a good student. In classes such as science and math they tend to excel due to their factual nature. More abstract classes tend to frustrate the ISTJ but they try to do what "should" be done. In summation the ISTJ student will usually try to do what the instructor asks because that is what should be done.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Aerial Adventure
For $45 you get about 2 hours 15 minutes in the course. But because so many people start at about the same time, realistically we were only able to do 2-3 courses. Since there was a long line to do the first course (orange), I went up a level and tried the 'easy' green course first.
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There were so many different obsticles - anything from moving platforms, tightrope, rope bridge, ziplining, ladders, pathway with huge gaps, things with little room to hold for balance, etc.
This was a ton of fun. I feel like the last few months have been quite 'adventurous' for me and I've loved it all.
If I go back - there are still 4 more courses I didn't get to which would be nice that it wouldn't be repeatative.
For more information: Jiminy Peak Aerial Adventure
There are currently 6 individual, elevated courses with over 70 elements. From easy to hard --> Orange, Yellow, Green, 2 Blue, and Black.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
My first tent experience
I am proud of myself, I did something that wasn't even on my bucket list because I never would have guessed I would have ever done it in my life. Camping. I know it sounds silly - but I have a huge fear of bugs and having them crawl on me and being ingested.
My sister invited me to this amazing sporty thing that I will talk about tomorrow and I really wanted to go...and to do that it made more sense to camp before hand then drive so much in one day.
Knowing I was doing something I was petrified about - I made sure to go in full swing...I am an overachiever after all.
As soon as we got out of the car, I read the directions to put up the tent and was able to do it by myself, well my sister helped too- someone did come over and give me a pointer, but I would have figured it out even if he didn't because the tent assembly was actually quite easy.
It got dark really soon, but my people did all the cooking and cleaning up so it was really easy for me. After dinner we played a little flashlight tag, stargazed and then roasted marshmallows for S'mores and was in the tent by....10. It ended up being a bit chilly, about 40 degrees and we weren't prepared for the chill. The kids slept on an air mattress and I gave them my blanket leaving me laying on the tent floor without a blanket...making it very difficult to sleep. Everyone in my tent moved to the car at about 5am at which time I layed on the air mattress and used a blanket and thought camping wouldn't be so bad if I was comfortable like that! Next time I'll have to remember that small luxury until (assuming I do this again) I am comfortable enough with this to really 'rough' it.
Overall, I have to say that camping wasn't as horrible as I expected. This place was good for first-timers; I wasn't worried about not showering or peeing in the woods (although there was a bath house there) and the car was right there where we can store food/bags.
My sister invited me to this amazing sporty thing that I will talk about tomorrow and I really wanted to go...and to do that it made more sense to camp before hand then drive so much in one day.
Knowing I was doing something I was petrified about - I made sure to go in full swing...I am an overachiever after all.
As soon as we got out of the car, I read the directions to put up the tent and was able to do it by myself, well my sister helped too- someone did come over and give me a pointer, but I would have figured it out even if he didn't because the tent assembly was actually quite easy. It got dark really soon, but my people did all the cooking and cleaning up so it was really easy for me. After dinner we played a little flashlight tag, stargazed and then roasted marshmallows for S'mores and was in the tent by....10. It ended up being a bit chilly, about 40 degrees and we weren't prepared for the chill. The kids slept on an air mattress and I gave them my blanket leaving me laying on the tent floor without a blanket...making it very difficult to sleep. Everyone in my tent moved to the car at about 5am at which time I layed on the air mattress and used a blanket and thought camping wouldn't be so bad if I was comfortable like that! Next time I'll have to remember that small luxury until (assuming I do this again) I am comfortable enough with this to really 'rough' it.
Overall, I have to say that camping wasn't as horrible as I expected. This place was good for first-timers; I wasn't worried about not showering or peeing in the woods (although there was a bath house there) and the car was right there where we can store food/bags.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Commandos
Have you ever went comando?
There are times a lady does not want panty lines...so what other choice is there aside from wearing underwear? Not wearing underwear. Well, now there is a third alternative - a Commando (r).
A Commando is a fabric on one side and adhesive on the other. They have two different varieties right now - for denim and for cotton (like yoga pants). The purpose is when not wearing panties that your area does not get roughed up by the fabric of your pants/shorts rubbing against it.
Since I don't wear comfy pants - I tried the denim (I think the only difference might be how sticky the adhesive is?). The paper came right off the commando and it was fairly easy to apply to the pants/shorts.
I did not find it weird to not pull up panties every time I used the bathroom and I thought it was comfortable for the most part. There were times throughout the day when the commando pulled away from the pants a little for normal moving around...and that part that pulled up happened to stick to my area a little - I guess I didn't apply one segment down properly. If there was hair down there, I can see this being annoying.
At the end of the day, the commando pulled right off.
I can see this being useful when one wears white pants or somewhat tight bottoms where. This isn't something I would wear on a regular basis.
Read more about Commandos here
There are times a lady does not want panty lines...so what other choice is there aside from wearing underwear? Not wearing underwear. Well, now there is a third alternative - a Commando (r).
A Commando is a fabric on one side and adhesive on the other. They have two different varieties right now - for denim and for cotton (like yoga pants). The purpose is when not wearing panties that your area does not get roughed up by the fabric of your pants/shorts rubbing against it.Since I don't wear comfy pants - I tried the denim (I think the only difference might be how sticky the adhesive is?). The paper came right off the commando and it was fairly easy to apply to the pants/shorts.
I did not find it weird to not pull up panties every time I used the bathroom and I thought it was comfortable for the most part. There were times throughout the day when the commando pulled away from the pants a little for normal moving around...and that part that pulled up happened to stick to my area a little - I guess I didn't apply one segment down properly. If there was hair down there, I can see this being annoying.
At the end of the day, the commando pulled right off.
I can see this being useful when one wears white pants or somewhat tight bottoms where. This isn't something I would wear on a regular basis.
Read more about Commandos here
Saturday, September 15, 2012
War Horse & Jersey Boys
Broadway had it's annual 50% off tickets so I decided that this year I was actually going to see a show. I sent out a notification and I was surprised that a few of my friends actually emailed me back that they too were interested so I ended up booking two shows: War Horse and Jersey Boys.
I saw War Horse first with my friend from work. I didn't really know much about the plot except from what I was able to deduct from the title. A few people told me that it was fantastic but sad. I went into it preparing for the worst and told my new friend I'd probably cry and brought a bunch of tissues. I was immediately drawn into the story and was amazed at how they portray the war on a small stage and the look of the horse - was simply amazing. Surprisingly I did not cry.
War Horse it is playing at Lincoln Center. We sat in the last row on the side of the orchestra seats (for $78.38) and I thought the view was good...but the people all the way at the far end of the audience had a hard time seeing some of the things happening on the stage since the stage was something like a circle but half enclosed. The 'clientle' at the Lincoln Center are people that seemed to be a lot more respectful than what you would normally see at a show. I really enjoyed this drama - not just because of the story line, but add to that what I've mentioned about HOW they acted out the story.
Next up was a musical, Jersey Boys. It was nice to see an upbeat show after last week. I knew some of the Four Season's songs, I grew up listening to my parent's music but I didn't know the back story.
I found the show quite entertaining (and informative). It was great how they were able to add a few of those one-liners in there to make us chuckle mixed in with their songs. I thought the simple set worked well for this play because it was more the story and not the set.
Jersey Boys is playing at the August Wilson Theater on 52nd street. We sat in the very last row of the mezzanine ($58.38), but I have to say that we were able to see the stage really well (and again, it helped that the stage settings were simple). My biggest complaint, and huge distraction, is the inconsiderate people that were there. Since I sat in the last row, I had good views of the audience. Three rows ahead, a guy decides to video every single song in the second act, and take pictures throughout. Mind you they tell you at the beginning to turn them off or put them away and that picture/video is prohibited. OK, so you want to take ONE picture? I'll get over it. But seriously for an hour I have to see that bright bluish light? It was very distracting. I am not sure where the 'security' people were to enforce this. A few times I saw them by the stairs watching the show but the rest of the time?
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| War Horse - Picture by Paul Kolnik |
War Horse it is playing at Lincoln Center. We sat in the last row on the side of the orchestra seats (for $78.38) and I thought the view was good...but the people all the way at the far end of the audience had a hard time seeing some of the things happening on the stage since the stage was something like a circle but half enclosed. The 'clientle' at the Lincoln Center are people that seemed to be a lot more respectful than what you would normally see at a show. I really enjoyed this drama - not just because of the story line, but add to that what I've mentioned about HOW they acted out the story.
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| Jersey Boys - Photo from website |
I found the show quite entertaining (and informative). It was great how they were able to add a few of those one-liners in there to make us chuckle mixed in with their songs. I thought the simple set worked well for this play because it was more the story and not the set.
Jersey Boys is playing at the August Wilson Theater on 52nd street. We sat in the very last row of the mezzanine ($58.38), but I have to say that we were able to see the stage really well (and again, it helped that the stage settings were simple). My biggest complaint, and huge distraction, is the inconsiderate people that were there. Since I sat in the last row, I had good views of the audience. Three rows ahead, a guy decides to video every single song in the second act, and take pictures throughout. Mind you they tell you at the beginning to turn them off or put them away and that picture/video is prohibited. OK, so you want to take ONE picture? I'll get over it. But seriously for an hour I have to see that bright bluish light? It was very distracting. I am not sure where the 'security' people were to enforce this. A few times I saw them by the stairs watching the show but the rest of the time?
Friday, September 14, 2012
Same Name
I am not sure if I can date someone with the same name as my exes. Unfortunately they are very common names so the odds of meeting new people with those names are quite high.
I never really thought about it until about 4 years ago when, after I moved back home - that my first new friend, Michelle, was married to someone. She re-became a huge slut and then dated/got knocked up by someone with the same name as her ex-husband.
I remember thinking I am not sure if I could do that, especially within a matter of a few months after the breakup. Wouldn't every time you say his name or refer to him...you think if even just a little bit - of your ex? That would be the last thing I wanted [especially] during that recovery period.
Names stick. Not just exes, but even people you don't like. I am sure many of you when considering baby names have discarded a name because you knew someone with that name. Why? Was it because you didn't like someone with that name? or maybe because that name reminded you of a time in your life that you would not like to revisit? I am sure there are a few reasons for your decision.
So what would I do if this same name issue is something I'd actually have to think about? I'd like to say that it wouldn't be a problem. But I feel like I should reserve those two names for my exes. They will always be a part of me and I will always remember them (god help me if during my Alzheimer's I have to live with their shadows!) so I'd like to be able to say SI or Cop#1's name and someone know who I am talking about without having to say a last name or explain who they were, or come up with some horrible nickname like Cop#1.
I've been on a few dates with people with the same names but it didn't get past the first date, so it hasn't been an issue yet. If I have to consider this same name - I will let you know what I decide.
I never really thought about it until about 4 years ago when, after I moved back home - that my first new friend, Michelle, was married to someone. She re-became a huge slut and then dated/got knocked up by someone with the same name as her ex-husband.
I remember thinking I am not sure if I could do that, especially within a matter of a few months after the breakup. Wouldn't every time you say his name or refer to him...you think if even just a little bit - of your ex? That would be the last thing I wanted [especially] during that recovery period.
Names stick. Not just exes, but even people you don't like. I am sure many of you when considering baby names have discarded a name because you knew someone with that name. Why? Was it because you didn't like someone with that name? or maybe because that name reminded you of a time in your life that you would not like to revisit? I am sure there are a few reasons for your decision.
So what would I do if this same name issue is something I'd actually have to think about? I'd like to say that it wouldn't be a problem. But I feel like I should reserve those two names for my exes. They will always be a part of me and I will always remember them (god help me if during my Alzheimer's I have to live with their shadows!) so I'd like to be able to say SI or Cop#1's name and someone know who I am talking about without having to say a last name or explain who they were, or come up with some horrible nickname like Cop#1.
I've been on a few dates with people with the same names but it didn't get past the first date, so it hasn't been an issue yet. If I have to consider this same name - I will let you know what I decide.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Perfect day
Today was my favorite kind of day. It was sunny with a cool breeze almost to the point where a thin long sleeve shirt or light jacket would be acceptable. The air was perfect; I don't think there was an ounce of humidity in the air - which means it was a perfect hair day.
I am looking forward to the upcoming pre-autumn and autumn days. I think overall my mood is better and I am happy about the lack of sweat and humidity making my appearance better.
I am looking forward to the upcoming pre-autumn and autumn days. I think overall my mood is better and I am happy about the lack of sweat and humidity making my appearance better.
The ManFriend Curveball
I ran into ManFriend at the library on Saturday. We chatted for about 5 minutes; it was a little awkward, and I am not sure why.
On Sunday ManFriend texted me asking if I was free in the evening so we could 'hang out'. With nothing else going on, I agreed. Although I am hesitant to keep going over - I don't want to get rusty.
I go over, and he was still a little drunk from the football game. I like chatty/drunk ManFriend - he talks so much more (granted most of the time he repeats things). So as we snuggling and kissing, he tells me that seeing me the day before really hit him and he wants more. He wants to take me away and he wants me to sleep over more often because he really likes that, and he wants to know more about me. He said we've had a lot of ups and downs and he wants some of that awkwardness to go away. He is not sure why sometimes we talk more and other times not...and that he is giving what he is getting...and I told him he has been in complete control of our 'progress' because he kept pushing me away, so I was only giving him what he seemed to want. A vicious cycle.
Then he asked me how I felt about all of this. I smiled and was hesitant...how did I feel? I mean, at this point, I feel nothing. I could have felt more months ago (December - April/May) but then he pushed me so far away at kept me at this safe distance where I completely withdrew. I had to. I couldn't develop feelings for him and then get hurt. But I was definitely at the stage during that time where I could have easily liked him. We have this weird pull, he even commented on it, that keeps us coming back for more - and was instantaneous from the first second I met him...I knew there would be something between us.
I distracted him from the conversation with kissing. When we were more intimate later he kept telling me how much he loves it. I think he even called me love (but I ignored it since he was the sex talking).
So I really didn't answer him. I want a relationship, a real one. But at this point...is it too late? Probably not...but if I dated him, am I settling? I really enjoy hanging out with him, but if I do it more frequently, will he still be interesting? I have always worried that I'd be bored in a relationship with him. Add to that, I am attracted to him, but his stamina is a bit low. I think if I am asking myself these questions that it is telling me not to date him. But maybe I am just scared of two things 1) a relationship or 2) will dating him until I meet my fh not hinder me from meeting my fh or maybe even 3) will our 'relationship' really change at all? We've been doing this since December - 10 months.
Thank goodness I have an insanely busy week, so I can hold off and think a little more.
On Sunday ManFriend texted me asking if I was free in the evening so we could 'hang out'. With nothing else going on, I agreed. Although I am hesitant to keep going over - I don't want to get rusty.
I go over, and he was still a little drunk from the football game. I like chatty/drunk ManFriend - he talks so much more (granted most of the time he repeats things). So as we snuggling and kissing, he tells me that seeing me the day before really hit him and he wants more. He wants to take me away and he wants me to sleep over more often because he really likes that, and he wants to know more about me. He said we've had a lot of ups and downs and he wants some of that awkwardness to go away. He is not sure why sometimes we talk more and other times not...and that he is giving what he is getting...and I told him he has been in complete control of our 'progress' because he kept pushing me away, so I was only giving him what he seemed to want. A vicious cycle.
Then he asked me how I felt about all of this. I smiled and was hesitant...how did I feel? I mean, at this point, I feel nothing. I could have felt more months ago (December - April/May) but then he pushed me so far away at kept me at this safe distance where I completely withdrew. I had to. I couldn't develop feelings for him and then get hurt. But I was definitely at the stage during that time where I could have easily liked him. We have this weird pull, he even commented on it, that keeps us coming back for more - and was instantaneous from the first second I met him...I knew there would be something between us.
I distracted him from the conversation with kissing. When we were more intimate later he kept telling me how much he loves it. I think he even called me love (but I ignored it since he was the sex talking).
So I really didn't answer him. I want a relationship, a real one. But at this point...is it too late? Probably not...but if I dated him, am I settling? I really enjoy hanging out with him, but if I do it more frequently, will he still be interesting? I have always worried that I'd be bored in a relationship with him. Add to that, I am attracted to him, but his stamina is a bit low. I think if I am asking myself these questions that it is telling me not to date him. But maybe I am just scared of two things 1) a relationship or 2) will dating him until I meet my fh not hinder me from meeting my fh or maybe even 3) will our 'relationship' really change at all? We've been doing this since December - 10 months.
Thank goodness I have an insanely busy week, so I can hold off and think a little more.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
A few of my FAVORITE things, part 5
Chicken Vegetable Pizza
Last weekend I splurged on a pizza...chicken vegetable. I ordered the medium pie knowing I would eventually eat it all. The pizza dough was delicious (there is no sauce) and was topped with chicken, broccoli, spinach, tomatoes, and cheese. I am not a huge fan of tomatoes, but it works really well on this pizza because the juice from the tomato really adds a sufficient flavor without making it overbearingly tomatoey taking away from the other ingredients - like sauce would have done. I ate a few slices cold the next morning and warmed up the remaining slices at lunch.
$8 - $19 depending on size
Harrison Pizza you can even order online!
Dairy Bars
I tried this delicious treat for the first time at the local carnival, and it soon became a favorite. I've only had the coconut and pistachio so far because they are just so delicious that I crave them...but there are tons of other flavors (and other products).Oh, best part? These pops are only $2.50 each!
Paleteria Fernandez
Sephora Cream Lip Stain
I've had a really hard time finding lip color that I not only like, but that stays on and that does not dry out my lips. I happened to be in Sephora to claim my birthday gift and I found this lip stain. I love it. I can't wait to go back and maybe even try another color, although I love this one (#5 Infinite Rose).
$12
Sephora
Neutrogena Sun Screen
I really like the Hawaiian tropic sunscreen - but only at the beach because it smells like coconut. On days when I am going to a little league game or just spending time outside, I don't want to smell beach delicious. My cousin told me she used the Neutrogena sunscreen and really liked it, so I had to try it. I too loved it. It goes on nice and smooth, does not smell, and dries really quick without making you feel sticky.
Prices vary
Neutrogena
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Debt Progress
I haven't posted about my personal financial goals since the beginning of February. In December I purchased Quicken, I spent a ton of time inputting every penny into the program so come January - it would start a nice trend/summary and give me great insight into my spending and paying off debt - and to constantly see all my balances right there...it was near impossible to forget my goals.
I was off to a slow start, but I kept putting $1,000+ towards the credit cards each month, but I was also still spending so my balances weren't decreasing as quickly as it should have been.
In April I started a new job and spoke to a financial advisor who confirmed my plan was a good one.
But in late April, my laptop died. I did not backup my quicken data. The 5 months of financial data I spent hours on, all gone. Because of this I felt so out of the loop. There was a month I couldn't remember if I paid my bills, so I double paid, which would be good, if it didn't leave me in a bad situation the next month when I was short on cash. I went to staples and purchased a budget ledger so I could hand write all my expenses - but this proved more difficult for me because I would forget to record charges, I had piles of receipts to enter...I missed Quicken.
When my laptop was rebuild in late August one of the first things I did was to install Quicken and try to get back on track. Unfortunately it only synced with up to 3 months for some accounts...but at least I can see my balances again.
So here it is:
I was off to a slow start, but I kept putting $1,000+ towards the credit cards each month, but I was also still spending so my balances weren't decreasing as quickly as it should have been.
In April I started a new job and spoke to a financial advisor who confirmed my plan was a good one.
But in late April, my laptop died. I did not backup my quicken data. The 5 months of financial data I spent hours on, all gone. Because of this I felt so out of the loop. There was a month I couldn't remember if I paid my bills, so I double paid, which would be good, if it didn't leave me in a bad situation the next month when I was short on cash. I went to staples and purchased a budget ledger so I could hand write all my expenses - but this proved more difficult for me because I would forget to record charges, I had piles of receipts to enter...I missed Quicken.
When my laptop was rebuild in late August one of the first things I did was to install Quicken and try to get back on track. Unfortunately it only synced with up to 3 months for some accounts...but at least I can see my balances again.
So here it is:
- One credit card I paid off in August
- The second card is about $1,500 away, but I keep using it, and will soon be registering for some continuing education classes, which will run about $800 each...so back up to $3,000+
- I've only been paying the minimum amounts for the student loan and the mortgage
- The mortgage - I haven't refinanced still...not knowing what I am going to do with my apartment: continuing to rent, sell, move back in? I didn't want to waste the closing costs on something that wouldn't pay off.
- Savings: I increased my automatic deduction by $40 per paycheck, not enough since I am still a LONG way away from having a minimum of 3-5 months expenses saved up. Now that my credit card balances are much lower, I will increase the savings a little more and put some of that 'extra' money from credit card 1 towards the mortgage/student loans.
- My car is old. Although it has a lot of problems (windows and doors get stuck, can only open the doors from the drivers side front door, etc) it gets me where I need to go and I don't use it a ton during the week. I am glad I haven't purchased/leased another car yet. However, I had to buy a battery a few months ago, then the car was leaking from a clogged up pipe- easy, cheap fix....but it took me 2 months to get it repaired and the car smelled for a while. Then just this morning, my car doesn't start again...another dead battery. I hope it keeps running for a few more months, I don't want to waste money on something else yet.
- I have also been more social in the last few months, so I've spent some money on "fun"...dinners, drinks, Broadway shows, ziplining, etc. I justify this because we all need a little fun. I can't sit at home all day, every day, even if I am a bit of a homebody.
- I have spent a bit of money on a nutritionist too...not the wisest choice, but in the long run, health is more important, right? I've been meaning to blog about this experience.
- Job: the commute is the same, the standard increases every few years. However, I have revamped my wardrobe a bit in the last several months.
- I have been trying to be better about using cash/debit card more. I haven't charged groceries/gas in a long time. If I go out to eat, I try to debit card it, provided I know there is money in my checking account.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Through the years
Sometimes I glance at myself in the mirror and think...I barely recognize myself. For the most part, I haven't changed too much - usually just long/short and curly/straight hair. But there is always something more that you see that others really don't. The shape of my eyebrows, the new wrinkle, the evenness of the skin tone, the smile, etc. I sometimes think I am starting to get all whethered looking. Other times I think I look old/ugly but then look back at pictures and think, if only I looked like that now!
I love my sisters, but sometimes I feel bad for their husbands...the sisters don't put much effort into what they wear or look like. If SI did anything for me - it was to tell me that it is important to want to look good for your significant other. I hope to go into any future relationships remembering how important it is...not just so I feel better about myself - but that my other stays somewhat attracted to me.
With my birthday passing, I thought it might be fun to show little snapshots of me over the last few years. Maybe you can see how much/little I've changed. I think I am getting better with age - but I always thought there was something fantastic about the 30s, so I shouldn't be too surprised. The real test will be what happens after 39.
I love my sisters, but sometimes I feel bad for their husbands...the sisters don't put much effort into what they wear or look like. If SI did anything for me - it was to tell me that it is important to want to look good for your significant other. I hope to go into any future relationships remembering how important it is...not just so I feel better about myself - but that my other stays somewhat attracted to me.
With my birthday passing, I thought it might be fun to show little snapshots of me over the last few years. Maybe you can see how much/little I've changed. I think I am getting better with age - but I always thought there was something fantastic about the 30s, so I shouldn't be too surprised. The real test will be what happens after 39.
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| July 2012 |
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| November 2011 |
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| October 2010 |
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| March 2009 |
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| June 2008 |
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| March 2007 |
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| February 2006 |
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| September 2005 |
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| October 2004 |
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| December 2003 |
Monday, September 3, 2012
what not to wear
Sometimes I spend too much time trying to figure out what to wear, a natural problem when you have a big closet stuffed with clothes...some that fit, others that do not.
After I make a selection, I always look in the mirror before I head out although I might not love what I am wearing, at least it covers some of my problem areas.
I was walking behind this lady last week. I give her credit, she looks put together: heels (I don't commute in heels!), skirt, matching top. The outfit isn't bad. But what shocked me is that she thought she looked OK in this. The shirt is about two sizes too small and I think the skirt length is a tad bit short for work.
As I pass this lady, I looked at her face, and she was between 50-60.
I might be more conservative, in a sad way since I am young...but I wonder why I feel like I can't wear things in public when clearly others don't have this issue.
After I make a selection, I always look in the mirror before I head out although I might not love what I am wearing, at least it covers some of my problem areas.
I was walking behind this lady last week. I give her credit, she looks put together: heels (I don't commute in heels!), skirt, matching top. The outfit isn't bad. But what shocked me is that she thought she looked OK in this. The shirt is about two sizes too small and I think the skirt length is a tad bit short for work.As I pass this lady, I looked at her face, and she was between 50-60.
I might be more conservative, in a sad way since I am young...but I wonder why I feel like I can't wear things in public when clearly others don't have this issue.
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