Boomerang

My friend told me that I was part of the Boomerang Generation - this revelation made me feel a little better about my recent decision to rent my apartment and move home for a year.

But that decision was not an easy one - admitting defeat is hard for anyone.  Knowing that I only lived alone for 3 1/2 years before having to move back home sucks.  BUT then I thought about it a little more. 

4 Years ago, my goal was to live in my apartment for 2-3 years.  Granted that is because I thought I'd then move in with a boyfriend or ex.  Neither of those happened. Instead I am still 100% single and broke.  Additionally, I needed alone time.  Having broken up with SI, living with my family was so hard. I needed my own place. I needed to date. I needed  a place to cry without pissing off my father and making my mother so worried. 

I thought about my town and it was perfect for my commute to the train but I don't really use many of the town amenities.  I used to frequent the library once or twice a week, but now I am doing a lot of e-reading.  I used the town pool once and tried almost all of the restaurants at least once...but what else? My town is more of a family town and I don't have my own family so there really isn't a lot for me here.

My apartment is about 850 square feet, so it is not big...I knew I could not live here indefinitely even if I remained single. I would like a little more space. My goal is to get a townhouse, so I don't have to listen to footsteps above my head. Also, I realized I can not live across the street from a school or a park. Things that I didn't realize 4 years ago.

My apartment allowed me to be independent, which was important to me after living with someone else and feeling like I constantly needed to be extra amazing because they supported me, I walked on eggshells fearful that if he wasn't happy, then I'd be out on the street (I guess either way I ended up alone, so my original fears were pointless). Buying an apartment gave me that boost that I needed - sort of like...look SI I can do it too, I can be happy, I can support myself, I can furnish a place decent and make it homey, I can cook and clean and have a place to bring people to. I was proud of myself. But I don't need that anymore - and it isn't because SI and I haven't spoken in 10 months - it is because I accomplished what I set out to do. I did it. Now I can be a little more smart and pay off some debt and save money for the next segment of my life. This apartment was my transition apartment. I know more about what I want and what I don't.

When my parents asked if I wanted to move home a few weeks ago, but I said no.  The thought didn't really cross my mind, I figured I'd stick it out and just keep racking on the credit card debt.  But then one day, I realized I had so little money in my checking account and I also remembered that I barely go out for fun because, well, I have no additional money to do that.  My other friend told me she'd help me with a budget...but when I was getting her all the information I realized I was in bad shape so I started to work on my own Personal Strategic Plan.

I want more out of my life - and this is the gateway to make it happen.

See, boomerang.  Live with them - Move out - Live with them - Move out - Live with them - eventually move out.  Hopefully this will be the last time I live with them...until they live with me when they can't live alone anymore.